Author name: Wayne C. Allen

About the Author: Wayne C. Allen is the web's Simple Zen Guy. Wayne was a Private Practice Psychotherapist in Ontario until June of 2013. Wayne is the author of five books, the latest being The. Best. Relationship. Ever.

Being a Mirror

book promos / By
Being a Mir­ror is all about help­ing oth­ers to hear them­selves by reflect­ing back, with­out judge­ment. I sus­pect that the rea­son that most cou­ples have prob­lems with com­mu­ni­ca­tion is that they have grown up wit­ness­ing poor com­mu­ni­ca­tion.  So let me define a few things that good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not. Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not: Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is: Most […]

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Things Change When You Do

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Things Change When You Do  —  this is about is how we deal with events that seem larg­er than life.  Typ­i­cal­ly, these events are cat­e­go­rized as “This is not fair!”  Gath­ered under this umbrel­la are things like death, ill­ness, acci­dents, glob­al cat­a­stro­phes, abuse, and the like. Dar­bel­la and I once led a sem­i­nar. One of the par­tic­i­pants was

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Look Wide, Focus Narrow

Zen Ideas / By
Look Wide, Focus Nar­row  —  learn­ing to shift your focus means you auto­mat­i­cal­ly see a “big­ger pic­ture” Not long ago, I was root­ing around in some old pho­tos, and I came upon one of me play­ing golf. In Scot­land, in 1986. I stopped play­ing golf many years ago, para­dox­i­cal­ly after 2 great years of finally

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Setting Boundaries

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Set­ting Bound­aries  —  one source for stress is a lack of bound­aries, AKA the inabil­i­ty to say no. What Are Bound­aries? Per­son­al bound­aries are emo­tion­al, phys­i­cal, and men­tal lim­its that we estab­lish. Bound­aries dif­fer from per­son to per­son, and are: Set­ting bound­aries is a per­son­al respon­si­bil­i­ty, root­ed in self-care and a desire to cul­ti­vate well-being. The premise is that no one and noth­ing can

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