communicating

Real Relating  —  Finding YourSELF

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This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Real Relat­ing
Real Relat­ing  —  Find­ing Your­SELF  —  Most peo­ple enter rela­tion­ships either for what the oth­er per­son will (end­less­ly) give them, or to ‘help.’ Nei­ther approach works. Just a note: I’m pulling quotes from Pas­sion­ate Mar­riage, by David Schnarch. Rela­tion­ships are fun­ny things. Or, at least the rea­sons peo­ple enter them seem fun­ny. Our opin­ion is that

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Locating Yourself

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Locat­ing Your­self  —  most define them­selves using lists. You just might be, only, what you enact. Let’s look at the ways we cat­e­go­rize our­selves  —  and pro­pose an alter­na­tive. When asked about Locat­ing Your­self  —  asked the ques­tion “Who are you?” most peo­ple rhyme off a list. They start with where they belong, and give you their

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Being a Mirror

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Being a Mir­ror is all about help­ing oth­ers to hear them­selves by reflect­ing back, with­out judge­ment. I sus­pect that the rea­son that most cou­ples have prob­lems with com­mu­ni­ca­tion is that they have grown up wit­ness­ing poor com­mu­ni­ca­tion.  So let me define a few things that good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not. Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not: Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is: Most

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