Find your life partner! Psychotherapist Discovers the “The List of 50”

Find Your Perfect Partner

Find out how creating a “The List of 50,” will help you to find your life partner, and get exactly   the relationship you want.


Hi there, Wayne C. Allen here.

Until my retire­ment in 2013, (31 years!) I was a psychotherapist–and I know a thing or two about help­ing peo­ple just like you to find your life part­ner… and then to cre­ate a great relationship.

I’ve been research­ing this top­ic for decades, (and have been in a pri­ma­ry rela­tion­ship since 1983…) and I know how com­pli­cat­ed all of this can seem.

That’s what this letter is all about!


One time, I was talk­ing with a client who was real­ly frus­trat­ed. He was just shy of 40, and had a string of failed rela­tion­ships train­ing in his wake. I asked him about his dat­ing strat­e­gy.

If a woman seems inter­est­ed, I ask her out.”

Me: “Well, exact­ly what kind of per­son are you look­ing for?”

Him: “I don’t real­ly have a clue.”

Me: “Well, do you think that might have some­thing to do with why you keep end­ing up in rela­tion­ships with strange people?”

Him: “How do I fig­ure out what I want?”

I gave him a strat­e­gy that I spell out in detail in my book, Find Your Per­fect Partner.

What’s this all about? I’m glad you asked!

Most peo­ple think find­ing the right per­son should “just hap­pen.” They depend on “the luck of the draw,” and typ­i­cal­ly end up with the next bozo in line.

The “cure” is a focused, clear, and direct approach to the whole “find­ing a part­ner” enter­prise. It requires thought, per­sis­tence, and logic.

You must learn how to focus in on get­ting what you want, as opposed to set­tling for “almost, but not quite.”

Rather than leave any of this to chance, I devel­oped The List of 50.

The List of 50” is the key to finding Your Perfect Partner.

A while back, a friend of one of my clients decid­ed to use the method from Find Your Per­fect Part­ner. She’d been in some strange rela­tion­ships, and did­n’t want a repeat performance.

She spent a month read­ing the e‑book and craft­ing her List of 50. She sent it to me for com­ments, and she fol­lowed the direc­tions for imple­ment­ing it.

With­in a few months, she start­ed a new rela­tion­ship with some­one who fits—someone who understands—someone who “gets it.” Not sur­pris­ing­ly, her soul-mate was some­one she knew!

Here’s what she wrote:


You may not recall, but I met you once a cou­ple of years ago while attend­ing a ses­sion with (a client of yours who is a friend of mine.) One activ­i­ty she has shared with me is the infa­mous List of 50 . This act of pos­i­tive­ly explor­ing my needs and desires was very reward­ing. I have shared this idea with many of my friends and fam­i­ly, with many pos­i­tive results and con­struc­tive conversations.

Not sur­pris­ing­ly, this List was a key com­po­nent in dis­cov­er­ing that the per­son I wished to share my life with was in fact a very close friend of mine. He too com­plet­ed the assign­ments, and through some soul search­ing we real­ized that we were look­ing for each oth­er. Though nei­ther of us had con­sid­ered the act of mar­riage before, the idea of cre­at­ing a sym­bol­ic union nat­u­ral­ly appealed to us.

~ D. Christieson

Anoth­er read­er described end­less­ly dat­ing peo­ple she end­ed up leav­ing. She real­ly thought that rela­tion­ships “just hap­pened,” and that she was some­how com­pelled or required to go out with any­one who showed up on her door. After read­ing Find Your Per­fect Part­ner, she wrote her List of 50.

Not only did she find her life part­ner, she learned a big les­son about herself:


…Most of all, it made me con­sid­er things that I’d nev­er real­ly tak­en the time to think about. Pre­vi­ous­ly, I did­n’t know that I had any say or any con­trol in who I end­ed up with. It brought some real­i­ty and con­trol into that mys­te­ri­ous, mag­i­cal world of Love.

And that’s just the beginning!

Not only does this book go into the details of cre­at­ing your own List of 50, but here is what else you will dis­cov­er once you get your hands on this book:

  • prac­ti­cal, step-by-step ways to do what works and to stop doing what does­n’t when it comes to find­ing a new relationship.
  • the inside val­i­da­tion exer­cise – how to con­di­tion your­self to do the oppo­site of what peo­ple in failed rela­tion­ships do time and time again
  • three cul­tur­al myths that get in the way of rela­tion­ship success
  • Are you in love? How to tell the dif­fer­ence between lust and the real thing
  • the data fil­ter­ing prin­ci­ple – the rea­son you keep get­ting into dead-end rela­tion­ships (and how to change this forever) 
  • why “tak­ing your chances” is the worst way of find­ing your ide­al part­ner (and you’ll dis­cov­er a much bet­ter alternative)
  • how to ‘police the lan­guage’ in your List of 50 – ways to say what you want, clear­ly and specifically
  • are you real­ly ready for a new rela­tion­ship? Your answer may sur­prise you!
  • Why friends are good mod­els for lovers 

More client comments!


I’m pleas­ing myself over the fact that you are writ­ing a book based on the List of 50.  I find it iron­ic actu­al­ly because the tim­ing is rather impec­ca­ble.  I final­ly, after 6 long months of emo­tion­al and phys­i­cal celiba­cy decid­ed to re-write my list.  This time I did a good job, not a half assed job as I was so used to doing in the past. I real­ly used the tools in the book; I exam­ined my old pat­terns, past rela­tion­ships and myself and came up with my true List of 50.

At the time I re-wrote it I was going through some­thing with an old friend. As soon as I sev­ered the neg­a­tive rela­tion­ship I allowed myself to find the man that fit my list 100 per­cent.  I actu­al­ly showed him the list and he laughed and said “You wrote this after you met me didn’t you?”  I had­n’t, as a mat­ter of fact I had writ­ten it about 4 weeks ear­li­er.  He and I have spent the sum­mer togeth­er get­ting to know one anoth­er and each other’s chil­dren and we are enjoy­ing all that goes along with it.

I have also been using tools from build­ing long and last­ing rela­tion­ships and I am find­ing that they are tru­ly help­ing me to not go back to old pat­terns.  I am hon­est with him and with myself and I rarely give any­one oth­er than myself the pow­er to make me feel any­way.  I find this one dif­fer­ent in the sense that I have built my own secu­ri­ty and I no longer feel a need for urgency.  I am not rush­ing things and still enjoy time on my own.  When­ev­er I see myself slip­ping into my old pat­terns I sim­ply stand back and observe with­out judg­ment and cor­rect where I am with self aware­ness and of course breath.


When I showed my List of 50 to one friend he com­ment­ed, “Do you have a short list that us mere mor­tals could aspire to?” My answer was, “I had a short list and it got me my ex-hus­band. I’m being more par­tic­u­lar now.“
Does any­one fit my list? Well, I have “tried” a rela­tion­ship with one man that almost fits my list but a few of the very impor­tant points were not met (high ener­gy, engag­ing ful­ly in life being the most impor­tant). Hav­ing the list made it very clear. He remains a very, very close friend so that’s a good thing.

I have “reunit­ed” with a fel­low I went out with some 32 years ago who has poten­tial for fit­ting my list. I say poten­tial because it will take time to know. We live in dif­fer­ent provinces, which is a dif­fi­cul­ty, of course, but seem to be begin­ning to explore the pos­si­bil­i­ty of rela­tion­ship over the phone for now. (By the way, I’ve sug­gest­ed he read the book­let and write out his own list. I’m kind of hop­ing he’ll notice I fit his. Might not work that way but I’m will­ing to take a chance.)
This lat­ter con­nec­tion, made after I had writ­ten my list, has me think­ing that it real­ly is pos­si­ble that some­one out there could fit it. so that alone has been ben­e­fi­cial.
A final thought. As I re-read my list (not quite dai­ly but fre­quent­ly) it is clear to me that besides the qual­i­ties that are spe­cif­ic to another—height, pro­fes­sion, etc.) the qual­i­ties I want in a man are the qual­i­ties I work towards for myself. That is, being a per­son of integri­ty, car­ing, com­mit­ted to my psy­cho­log­i­cal and phys­i­cal health and devel­op­ment. It was inter­est­ing to note that. Not sur­pris­ing, just interesting.


I want to give you an update on the effects of my List of 50. I very much was want­i­ng a rela­tion­ship in the spring and sum­mer and, after writ­ing out my list, read it often and gave it to a num­ber of friends, both as a “giv­ing it away” and as a request for fix­ing up.

I was also aware that I real­ly did need time alone to get deep­er into my own Being, to learn to feel not just com­fort­able but hap­py with being alone. This fall, although there was still a part of me want­i­ng rela­tion­ship, I clear­ly accept­ed and decid­ed I more want­ed to be alone, for the present at any rate. My life is full and I have plans to be away next year on sab­bat­i­cal. A con­scious rela­tion­ship takes time and effort and I was hap­py to work on my self alone.

Well, as we know, giv­ing some­thing away seems to be the major ingre­di­ent in receiv­ing. Three weeks ago I met the cousin of my friend and with­in 3 con­ver­sa­tions we both knew this was for life. Tim­ing was excel­lent as we both had hol­i­days and spent a week togeth­er. The know­ing only increased. He match­es 49 out of my list of 50! (And I already have a good car mechan­ic so I can eas­i­ly give that up.)
Lov­ing has nev­er been so easy, so sacred, so heal­ing. Thank you.

Select to –> Read a Sample 

Find Your Per­fect Partner

* Paper­back book, 140 pages,
** Dig­i­tal E‑Book down­loads
** PDF Download

* Pub­lish­er: The Phoenix Cen­tre Press
(Decem­ber 2012)
* Lan­guage: Eng­lish
* ISBN: 978–09877192‑1–8

Purchase Options

Paper­back: $20.00, Dig­i­tal E‑Book edi­tions $2.99, PDF $4.00


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Rather than hop­ing to find the right part­ner in life through luck or ran­dom chance, Find Your Per­fect Part­ner shows you the self-respon­si­ble, pro-active approach that leads to sol­id results. There are plen­ty of good psy­cho­log­i­cal insights for men or women here, whether you’re look­ing to start a new rela­tion­ship or not, but its real strength, to me, seems to be in help­ing a per­son fig­ure out exact­ly what they do want in a part­ner and get­ting past the inter­nal fil­ters that con­tin­u­al­ly set them up with the wrong part­ner. It’s anoth­er gem by Wayne.

~ Den­nis “Boo­gie Jack” Gaskill

Find Your Per­fect Part­ner is what you’ve been look­ing for.

I could go on and on with rea­sons to pur­chase Find Your Per­fect Part­ner today, but here’s the point:

You need to prove to yourself that you can experience your own personal miracle.

Do it today!



What will your life look like after you have implemented the techniques you’ll learn in
Find Your Perfect Partner?

I don’t know.

What I can tell you is that hun­dreds of peo­ple just like you have read this book, and my read­ers call and e‑mail to order copies to give to friends and loved-ones. This book works!

But you may still be reluc­tant to buy this amaz­ing book.

I under­stand. But ask your­self this:

Where will that leave you?

How is your love life, right now? Do you think doing more of the same will sud­den­ly give you the life you so des­per­ate­ly want?

I can guar­an­tee that more of the same will get you more of the same.

Will you spend the rest of your life regret­ting not learn­ing how to have the best rela­tion­ship possible?


I can’t make the deci­sion for you. I can help you, but you’ve got to take the first step.

And here’s anoth­er guar­an­tee. If you get stuck, and want to talk, my con­tact infor­ma­tion is here on my site, and includ­ed with the book. I’m seri­ous about want­i­ng walk with you, as you find your life part­ner, and become all you can be.

P.P.S. And remem­ber, we guar­an­tee that all of our books will help you to soar! We’re that confident!

About the Author: Wayne C. Allen is known on the web as the Sim­ple Zen Guy. Wayne was a Pri­vate Prac­tice Coun­sel­lor in Ontario until June of 2013. Wayne is the author of five books, the lat­est being The. Best. Rela­tion­ship. Ever.

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