- The Myth of Sex Equaling Intimacy — The Myths Series
- The Myth of a Self — The Myths Series
- Life is not as it is. Life is as you are. The Myths Series
- The Myth of Absolute Truth — The Myths Series
- The Myth of Right and Wrong — The Myths Series
- The Myth of the Threat of Change — The Myths Series
- The Myth of Shoulds — The Myths Series
- The Myth of Fairness — The Myths Series
- The Myth of No Consequences — The Myths Series
- The Myth of Easy — The Myths Series
- The Myth of Scarcity — The Myths Series
- The Myth of Limitations — The Myths Series
- The Myth of a Soul Mate — The Myths Series
The Myth of the Threat of Change — many people fear change, so they stay stuck. Yet the fear is almost always baseless.
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John Savage, a trainer in conflict resolution, described various “neuro-sorting” techniques to help us see how our minds are set up.
Research backs up the percentages below. (i.e. it’s not fake news… 😉 )
One is called the “Sameness — Difference Sort. It speaks to the threat of change.”
- 10% of the population are Sameness types. They actively resist change. Profound change for these folk happens once every 25 years.
- 40% are Sameness/Difference types. They prefer to stay the same, but will change if strongly convinced. The make a profound change once in 10 years.
- 40% are Difference/Sameness types. They prefer change, but like it to be gradual and non-threatening. They make profound changes once every 5 years, and prefer newness. (Savage equates them with people who shop at the same mall, because there are 100 stores, as opposed to trying a new mall.)
- 10% are Difference types. They thrive on change and stagnate if things get too predictable. They embrace change as a friend. They change profoundly almost yearly. Savage calls them “channel surfers.”
It doesn’t take Einstein to see that 90% of the population resists making changes. Profound, earth-shaking change? Leave me out.
So… what about the model we use and teach?
To shift to the Zen-based self-responsibility model is to change the entire belief system you are operating under.
Under this model, rules, behaviours, standards, ethics — all become conditional, situational and self-determined. Scary stuff.
Given the above, 90% of the population will, at some level, resist making this (or any significant) shift.
The level of resistance tells us where on the bell curve the person is.
- 10% of the population will “never” change.
- 80% will change if persuaded, coerced or convinced that it is in their best interest to do so.
- As we move more to the right on the bell curve, the more likely it is that the person will see the need for change.
- At the 85% and above stage, the person may even seek help in changing.
- For the top 5%, change is relatively effortless.
This demonstrates why we say that change terrifies the vast majority of people.
People can be herded anywhere, so long as each step is small.
Make a huge change, and they’ll be out in the streets, protesting. Incremental change, and anything can happen.
Look at the population of Germany in the 30’s. Hitler did what he did through incremental change.
He presented a message about a return to the old ways of thinking, then tossed out someone to blame, and in a few years, almost the whole population shifted.
Shades of Trump today. Same topics, same change model, same goal.
The funny thing is, though, change is actually the “truth” of life.
Everything is changing, all the time.
This scares us; it does so because at a deep, primal level, we recognize that the direction of the change, for us as individuals, is death.
Each day brings death one day closer, so we try to hold on, as opposed to flowing along comfortably in the sea of change.
Because we fear change, we are stuck in denial.
Change is only as threatening as we make it. We needlessly complicate our lives by fearing what is already our reality. The world is changing at a faster pace than ever before in history, and the pace of change is accelerating. You can try to fight it, but all you are going to do is hurt yourself in the process.
Much better to talk with someone about processing through to a new, self-responsible state. It’s not easy, but it is do-able.
Because staying stuck in a dysfunctional belief system is a sure way to waste 5 years… or 50. It’s a great way to be content being miserable.
After all, it’s not like life goes on forever. Misery and stuckness is a choice. A better one is to set yourself free.