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The Joy of Non-duality

The joy of non-duality

The joy of non-duality — we create internal representations of everything we interact with. It’s all just a story. Joy is letting go of all of them.

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Looking for more on this topic?

Check out my book,
Half Asleep in the Bud­dha Hall.


My “East­ern” book takes you by the hand and helps you to find peace of mind. 

Half Asleep in the Bud­dha Hall is a Zen-based guide to liv­ing life ful­ly and deeply.

(Here’s a direct Ama­zon link)

Pur­chase dig­i­tal ver­sions (Apple, Nook, Kobo, etc.) from this page


In my book, This End­less Moment, I make men­tion of the Rad­i­cal Con­struc­tivists and the line, (para­phrased) that we should put real­i­ty in quotes — “real­i­ty.”

The gist of the argu­ment is that, while one can argue philo­soph­i­cal­ly for an inde­pen­dent “real­i­ty,” – a world of things, this is an abstraction.


Many mental games to play today.

First Exper­i­ment: take a look at the lead image— the one with the pho­to­graph of a woman in a robe, and my paint­ing of the photograph.

Tell your­self some sto­ries about the two images, as they relate to the woman.

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Sec­ond Exper­i­ment: think of a woman you just met. Does “she” have an inde­pen­dent “real­i­ty” apart from you? And, what’s her ‘real’ story?

Now, before you leap too quick­ly to get­ting the but­ter­fly net, think about it.

  • She’ did not exist, for you, before you met her.
  • After you met her, she became ‘real’ (for you) and exists in your world.
  • What you know of her is data con­tained in your mind.
  • There­fore: ‘she’ (log­i­cal­ly, empir­i­cal­ly, a pri­ori, objec­tive­ly) exists sep­a­rate­ly from you, (out there, some­where), but you can nev­er prove it.

Why? Because every­thing you learn about her is sub­jec­tive. It’s your sto­ry. What you see are your obser­va­tions, and then you inter­pret them (she’s tall, she’s pret­ty, she comes from a deprived child­hood. Whatever.)

Now, imag­ine that her broth­er shows up and tells you sto­ries about her child­hood. Now, it’s even weirder. 

He is telling you sto­ries about what he observed (thus, they are about his obser­va­tions, not about her) and you are lis­ten­ing to and eval­u­at­ing him and his sto­ries, while no doubt think­ing you are learn­ing more about ‘her!’

In all of this, what is ‘real,’ and what is ‘true?’

Before you leap in and say, “She is real, and her broth­er is real!” (and I agree that this is so, despite the fact that we’re argu­ing about an exam­ple I just made up…) what can you know of her… or of any­one else… includ­ing yourself?

You can only know your inter­pre­ta­tion of what you “observe” — what you see, hear, taste, smell, feel, or ‘cog­nate.‘
That last one is, in Bud­dhism, the sixth sense. Cog­ni­tion, or defin­ing, is a mind game going on in your head.

Sen­so­ry data comes in, and you inter­pret it and then give it a mean­ing.

If you see a box, and say, “It’s a small box,” the “real” part is the box. 

Small is rel­a­tive, as it means, “Small, com­pared to…” The box does not have “small” as a characteristic—it is not a part of its nature. 

Small (red, rough, etc.) are descrip­tors (judge­ments, inter­pre­ta­tions) you have added. (Nice, cold, angry, bad, good, fat, smart, stu­pid, etc.) 

Inter­pre­ta­tions made in your head about some­one or some­thing are not ‘true.’ They’re just your stories.


How does non-duality fit in?

Well, when you inter­pret (and we all do this, all the time, with every object we come into con­tact with) you are cre­at­ing a dual­i­ty.

The first and pri­ma­ry dual­i­ty is the pic­ture in your head. As above, it’s yours. It has noth­ing to do with the actu­al object / person.

In our exper­i­ments, if you decid­ed that the woman is pret­ty, this is a sub­jec­tive judge­ment, and implies, “pret­ti­er than…” 

It also means, “Not ugly.” 

Same with any char­ac­ter­is­tic you put on a thing. A char­ac­ter­is­tic you invent to define some­thing is not true and ‘real.’ It is a label you have invent­ed, and it is always like this:

A is ‘x’.
There­fore,
A is not the oppo­site of ‘x.’

This is impor­tant. The idea that your ver­sion of “real­i­ty” is “true” is the cause of every prob­lem you and the world has. “I am right, you are there­fore wrong.” “This behav­iour is good, you are doing some­thing else, you are bad.”


Things are actually everything and empty of everything — non-dual

You must under­stand that this eval­u­a­tive process is who we are as human beings. It’s the one and only thing we do as we inter­act with the world. Just like meet­ing some­one for the first time, no one (or thing) exists in our world until we begin to describe it.

Go ahead, try. Name one thing you have nev­er expe­ri­enced, but think is ‘real.’

Let’s say you came up with a vil­lage in Mon­go­lia. You shout, “See! That exists, and I’ve nev­er been there!” Nope. 

The vil­lage you saw in your mind exists only in your mind (let’s say you saw a pic­ture of it…) and it began to exist in your mind when you expe­ri­enced it (saw the picture.) 

Pri­or to your actu­al involve­ment with the pic­ture, you had no knowl­edge of that vil­lage. AND, you only know the pic­ture, which may be of a vil­lage that no longer exists.

What we need to get is the idea that, just because we believe some­thing about some­one or some thing, that does­n’t make it ‘real’ or ‘true.’

It’s like the Elephant story:

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Six blind men were tak­en to ‘see’ an ele­phant. Each walked for­ward and touched a part of the elephant.

  • Hey, the ele­phant is a pil­lar,” said the first man who touched his leg.
  • Oh, no! It is like a rope,” said the sec­ond man who touched the tail.
  • Oh, no! It is like a thick branch of a tree,” said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant.
  • It is like a big hand fan” said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant.
  • It is like a huge wall,” said the fifth man who touched the bel­ly of the elephant.
  • It is like a sol­id pipe,” Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.

The wise per­son rec­og­nizes that each blind per­son has cre­at­ed a “real­i­ty” called ‘ele­phant.’ Each “real­i­ty” was based upon what each per­son had observed (in this case, touched) and upon each one’s interpretation.

Now, in some ver­sions of this sto­ry, a Mas­ter comes along and says some­thing about reli­gious argu­ments being like this.

In a Jain ver­sion, the ver­dict is that an ele­phant is all the things observed.

This begs the ques­tion. Is it pos­si­ble com­plete­ly to define ‘ele­phant?’

Of course not.

One could spend one’s life watch­ing, observ­ing, dis­sect­ing, dig­ging into an ele­phant. Then, you would have gen­er­al data you might (care­ful­ly) apply to ‘all elephants.’ 

But you see the flaw. Each time a new char­ac­ter­is­tic pops up in anoth­er ele­phant, (this ele­phant is taller!) you have to change the definition.

But, you argue, at least I know one elephant.

Wrong.

You were nev­er able to enter the ele­phant, and be the ele­phant. Thus, you will nev­er ‘know’ even the one ele­phant. All you have is data con­cern­ing what you think you observed. Anoth­er blind man, feel­ing up an elephant.

Nor will you ever know anyone.

Includ­ing yourself.

All you will ever expe­ri­ence is ‘this, now.‘
And you will add your descrip­tion of what you observed
to your data­base,
as we are wont to do.

The wise soul makes no judge­ment regard­ing their judgements.

And sure­ly, it is best to nev­er have the judge­ment that what one believes is either ‘true’ or ‘real.’ It’s just what you inter­pret, today.

For me, non-dual thinking is this:

  • I am here , in this moment, and this is how I am judg­ing and eval­u­at­ing the expe­ri­ences I am appar­ent­ly hav­ing. I watch myself judg­ing and eval­u­at­ing, include my eval­u­a­tions in what I know of me, and let that be enough as far a judg­ing goes.
  • Next, I choose what to do next (obvi­ous­ly, my actions can only be based upon my judge­ments and eval­u­a­tions, and based upon what I know how to do. We learn every­thing incre­men­tal­ly, based upon some action that came before.)

This non-dual approach is one of accep­tance. I accept all of my experience. 

I accept the understanding that I’m
making it up as I go along.

Thus, all there is, is me, and me is defined by how I inter­act with oth­er indi­vid­u­als whose sto­ry I incor­po­rate into my being.

The only part I can mod­i­fy
(deal with, explore, let go of…) how­ev­er,
(and this is the hard part)
is me and my story.


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