Unbinding — Set Yourself Free Series

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Unbind­ing — One can see the results of how one lives by look­ing direct­ly toward the body. In oth­er words, the body tells us what we need to know.

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I just re-found an arti­cle I’d saved — it was in the Winter 2009 Bud­dhad­har­ma mag­a­zine. The arti­cle is “Gau­ta­ma vs the Bud­dha,” by Glenn Wallis.

If you’d like a one word descrip­tion, here it is:

Unbinding.

Here’s the article summary:

If you’re look­ing for relief from suf­fer­ing, argues Bud­dhist schol­ar and author Glenn Wal­lis, you won’t find it in some myth­i­cal fig­ure named the Bud­dha but in the teach­ings of Sid­dhartha Gautama–an ordi­nary per­son like us, who became one of the world’s most gift­ed spir­i­tu­al teachers.

He then talks about the core of it all, and uses a sut­ta (in Pali, sutra in San­skrit) to describe the process.

Des­ti­na­tion — from the Parayana Sut­ta —

I will teach the des­ti­na­tion and the path lead­ing to the des­ti­na­tion. Lis­ten to what I say.
What is the des­ti­na­tion? The erad­i­ca­tion of infat­u­a­tion, the erad­i­ca­tion of hos­til­i­ty, and the erad­i­ca­tion of delu­sion is what is called the des­ti­na­tion.
And what is the path lead­ing to the des­ti­na­tion? Present-moment aware­ness direct­ed toward the body. This aware­ness is what is called the path lead­ing to the des­ti­na­tion.
In this way, I have taught to you the des­ti­na­tion and the path lead­ing to the des­ti­na­tion. That which should be done out of com­pas­sion by a car­ing teacher who desires the wel­fare of his stu­dents, I have done for you.
There are seclud­ed places. Med­i­tate, do not be neg­li­gent! Don’t have regrets lat­er! This is my instruc­tion to you.

Key concepts

• All of that erad­i­ca­tion, which is described as the des­ti­na­tion, is also known as Nirvana.
• One can see the results of how one lives by look­ing direct­ly toward the body.

• The body tells us what we need to know. If we are angry, sad, depressed, bored, con­fused, infat­u­at­ed — then we are bound up in these things — in infat­u­a­tion, delu­sion, or hostility.

• If we are present — at peace, aware, open, hon­est, vul­ner­a­ble, true to our­selves — we are unbound, and in that moment (what else is there?) we touch “all that there is.”

This ongoing process of seeing into and being with is what meditation is all about.

As we learn to see when see­ing, hear when hear­ing, we begin to let go of our attach­ment — our “bound-ness” — to the caus­es of suf­fer­ing — name­ly, infat­u­a­tion, delu­sion, and hostility.

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Infatuation is the same as attraction.

If I am drawn to some­thing, if I must have some­thing — or some­one — then I have sur­ren­dered myself to (I am bound to) the thing I am attract­ed to.

I’m lucky, in that I’ve nev­er been attract­ed to teach­ers or gurus. By this I mean that while I have known quite a few, I am not infat­u­at­ed by them.

On the oth­er hand, I some­times infat­u­ate myself with peo­ple whom I think are “get­ting it.” I tend to want to have them get what I get, and quite annoy myself when they per­sist in doing it their way.

For me, then, unbind­ing is end­less­ly let­ting go of my desire to make things happen. 

My per­son­al path is learn­ing (end­less­ly) to let peo­ple go —away, astray, wher­ev­er they choose. If I roman­ti­cize them or their path, I pay the price of infat­u­at­ing myself.

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Hostility is the same as repulsion.

I do not suf­fer fools glad­ly. I still have a high­ly judge­men­tal streak. And I still set myself off over what I judge to be “dumb choic­es made by idiots.”

Guess which for­mer pres­i­dent I’m think­ing of right now…

For­tu­nate­ly, I have some­what learned to con­tain this ten­den­cy, and I “go off” less often. Although, I must admit, 2024 has been the focus of some dyna­mite rants. 

Usu­al­ly, I bend Dar­bel­la’s ear, while she laughs and shakes her head. Dar sel­dom gets her shorts in a bunch, and has dif­fi­cul­ty (she tells me) under­stand­ing my obvi­ous delight in wind­ing myself up. 

Rather than pro­long this exam­ple, let me just present a pho­to of Dar, look­ing at me, mid-wind-up.

If I go to hos­til­i­ty, I again am putting myself out there, as opposed to in here. I am caus­ing myself trau­ma, and blam­ing it on the behav­iour of others—despite their behav­iour being none of my busi­ness and out of my control.

Unbind­ing would be see­ing the sit­u­a­tion clear­ly, and choos­ing what I can do to bring myself back to peace.

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Delusion is the same as being tuned out, unaware.

Delu­sion is think­ing that the world owes me something.

Or that, because I’m a nice per­son, I deserve spe­cial treatment.

Or that it’s scary out there and I have to be cautious.

Or that my job is to fix every­one else, and then it will be my turn.

Or that how I feel and what is going on for me is up for either debate or approval from others.

And on and on.

Unbind­ing, para­dox­i­cal­ly, has to do with “don’t know,” with see­ing sim­ply, with­out a lot of dra­ma or explanation.

I mostly don’t delude myself, although I could be deluded about that…

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Present mind­ed aware­ness direct­ed toward the body is all about pay­ing atten­tion to the very real signs our bod­ies give us, signs that point to either dis­tress or freedom. 

I know how I am by being aware of what I am feeling, and observing what I am thinking. 

Once I get this, I can unbind myself from the games I am play­ing, the lies I am telling myself, and the dra­mas I am cre­at­ing, and I can be in my body, where I am, moment by moment.

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Unbinding is a way to remember.

Much like untan­gling wool so that it is use­ful, unbind­ing our­selves from our con­fu­sions and dis­trac­tions gives us the space and util­i­ty to be who we are.

Unbound. Real. Whole. Complete.

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Series Nav­i­ga­tion

« Learn­ing by Let­ting Go — Set Your­self Free SeriesDrop­ping Manip­u­la­tive Games — Set Your­self Free Series »