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Being a Mirror

Being a Mir­ror is all about help­ing oth­ers to hear them­selves by reflect­ing back, with­out judge­ment. I sus­pect that the rea­son that most cou­ples have prob­lems with com­mu­ni­ca­tion is that they have grown up wit­ness­ing poor com­mu­ni­ca­tion.  So let me define a few things that good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not. Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not: Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is: Most […]

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Setting Boundaries

Set­ting Bound­aries  —  one source for stress is a lack of bound­aries, AKA the inabil­i­ty to say no. What Are Bound­aries? Per­son­al bound­aries are emo­tion­al, phys­i­cal, and men­tal lim­its that we estab­lish. Bound­aries dif­fer from per­son to per­son, and are: Set­ting bound­aries is a per­son­al respon­si­bil­i­ty, root­ed in self-care and a desire to cul­ti­vate well-being. The premise is that no one and noth­ing can

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How to Communicate Better Using Dialogue

Com­mu­ni­cate Bet­ter: Dia­logue is a tool for self-explo­ra­tion. It’s not a way to get oth­ers to behave, but rather a way to learn about your­self. I’ve writ­ten a ton of arti­cles about com­mu­ni­ca­tion and dia­logue. I’ve focused on how to com­mu­ni­cate bet­ter in all of my books, and can state cat­e­gor­i­cal­ly that good com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills

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10 Quick Examples of Zen Living

Exam­ples of Zen Liv­ing  —  here’s how to sim­pli­fy your life and way of being 1. One thing at a time Mul­ti­task­ing is impos­si­ble. Watch your­self when you attempt it. What you are actu­al­ly doing is turn­ing your atten­tion from one thing to anoth­er, to anoth­er, rapid­ly. And, because chang­ing your focus takes ener­gy, noth­ing gets your full atten­tion. Exper­i­ment: watch your

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