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Being a Mirror

Being a Mir­ror is all about help­ing oth­ers to hear them­selves by reflect­ing back, with­out judge­ment. I sus­pect that the rea­son that most cou­ples have prob­lems with com­mu­ni­ca­tion is that they have grown up wit­ness­ing poor com­mu­ni­ca­tion.  So let me define a few things that good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not. Good com­mu­ni­ca­tion is not: get­ting anoth­er per­son …

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How to Communicate Better Using Dialogue

Com­mu­ni­cate Bet­ter: Dia­logue is a tool for self-explo­ra­tion. It’s not a way to get oth­ers to behave, but rather a way to learn about your­self. I’ve writ­ten a ton of arti­cles about com­mu­ni­ca­tion and dia­logue. I’ve focused on how to com­mu­ni­cate bet­ter in all of my books, and can state cat­e­gor­i­cal­ly that good com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills …

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10 Quick Examples of Zen Living

Exam­ples of Zen Liv­ing — here’s how to sim­pli­fy your life and way of being 1. One thing at a time Mul­ti­task­ing is impos­si­ble. Watch your­self when you attempt it. What you are actu­al­ly doing is turn­ing your atten­tion from one thing to anoth­er, to anoth­er, rapid­ly. And, because chang­ing your focus takes ener­gy, noth­ing gets your full atten­tion. Exper­i­ment: watch your …

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Cling Static

We get cling sta­t­ic when­ev­er we find our­selves grasp­ing onto some­thing (or push­ing it away–in which case we’re cling­ing on to not hav­ing it.) Today’s top­ic is addressed more ful­ly in my book, Half Asleep in the Bud­dha Hall. One of the ear­li­est teach­ings of the Bud­dha con­cerns the nature of life, and is often called the Four …

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