Author name: Wayne C. Allen

About the Author: Wayne C. Allen is the web's Simple Zen Guy. Wayne was a Private Practice Psychotherapist in Ontario until June of 2013. Wayne is the author of five books, the latest being The. Best. Relationship. Ever.

Setting Boundaries

book promos / By
Set­ting Bound­aries  —  one source for stress is a lack of bound­aries, AKA the inabil­i­ty to say no. What Are Bound­aries? Per­son­al bound­aries are emo­tion­al, phys­i­cal, and men­tal lim­its that we estab­lish. Bound­aries dif­fer from per­son to per­son, and are: Set­ting bound­aries is a per­son­al respon­si­bil­i­ty, root­ed in self-care and a desire to cul­ti­vate well-being. The premise is that no one and noth­ing can […]

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How to Communicate Better Using Dialogue

relationships / By
Com­mu­ni­cate Bet­ter: Dia­logue is a tool for self-explo­ra­tion. It’s not a way to get oth­ers to behave, but rather a way to learn about your­self. I’ve writ­ten a ton of arti­cles about com­mu­ni­ca­tion and dia­logue. I’ve focused on how to com­mu­ni­cate bet­ter in all of my books, and can state cat­e­gor­i­cal­ly that good com­mu­ni­ca­tion skills

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Better relating  —  6 Ideas

relationships / By
Bet­ter relat­ing  —  Of all the ways to Deep­en Rela­tion­ships, here are 6 of my favourites I sus­pect that most folk do not exam­ine their rela­tion­ship — except when things are off the rails. There’s a ten­den­cy to think  Noth­ing could be fur­ther from the truth. To quote David Schnarch, in “Pas­sion­ate Mar­riage,” a pri­ma­ry rela­tion­ship is a cru­cible. In oth­er words, the heat of the relationship

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The Relationship Tango

relationships / By
The rela­tion­ship tan­go  —  the pur­pose of a rela­tion­ship is the per­son­al growth of both of the peo­ple in the rela­tion­ship. This flies in the face of the roman­tic notion that rela­tion­ships are there to get my needs met. Often, peo­ple think that what they see in movies or on the soaps is “real.” Let’s

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Nothing is Apparent

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Syn­op­sis: Noth­ing is Appar­ent to any­one else, and most stuff isn’t even appar­ent to you! One of the biggest mis­takes peo­ple make when relat­ing is assum­ing… well… pret­ty much every­thing. Noth­ing, though, is obvi­ous, and often, what’s “obvi­ous” to you real­ly isn’t, so how on earth could some­one else fig­ure out what is unclear to you? But

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10 Quick Examples of Zen Living

Zen Ideas / By
Exam­ples of Zen Liv­ing  —  here’s how to sim­pli­fy your life and way of being 1. One thing at a time Mul­ti­task­ing is impos­si­ble. Watch your­self when you attempt it. What you are actu­al­ly doing is turn­ing your atten­tion from one thing to anoth­er, to anoth­er, rapid­ly. And, because chang­ing your focus takes ener­gy, noth­ing gets your full atten­tion. Exper­i­ment: watch your

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Zen and Being Yourself

Zen Ideas / By
Syn­op­sis: zen and being your­self  —  real­i­ty is that which is right in front of us. Descrip­tions of real­i­ty are con­ve­nient fic­tions. Most of the peo­ple I come across are try­ing (des­per­ate­ly…) to have an expe­ri­ence oth­er than the one they are hav­ing. Which, I sup­pose, is sort of an authen­tic thing to want, giv­en that the

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zen and being yourself
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