relating

Better relating  —  6 Ideas

Bet­ter relat­ing  —  Of all the ways to Deep­en Rela­tion­ships, here are 6 of my favourites I sus­pect that most folk do not exam­ine their rela­tion­ship — except when things are off the rails. There’s a ten­den­cy to think  Noth­ing could be fur­ther from the truth. To quote David Schnarch, in “Pas­sion­ate Mar­riage,” a pri­ma­ry rela­tion­ship is a cru­cible. In oth­er words, the heat of the relationship

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The Relationship Tango

The rela­tion­ship tan­go  —  the pur­pose of a rela­tion­ship is the per­son­al growth of both of the peo­ple in the rela­tion­ship. This flies in the face of the roman­tic notion that rela­tion­ships are there to get my needs met. Often, peo­ple think that what they see in movies or on the soaps is “real.” Let’s

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Nothing is Apparent

Syn­op­sis: Noth­ing is Appar­ent to any­one else, and most stuff isn’t even appar­ent to you! One of the biggest mis­takes peo­ple make when relat­ing is assum­ing… well… pret­ty much every­thing. Noth­ing, though, is obvi­ous, and often, what’s “obvi­ous” to you real­ly isn’t, so how on earth could some­one else fig­ure out what is unclear to you? But

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Zen and Being Yourself

Syn­op­sis: zen and being your­self  —  real­i­ty is that which is right in front of us. Descrip­tions of real­i­ty are con­ve­nient fic­tions. Most of the peo­ple I come across are try­ing (des­per­ate­ly…) to have an expe­ri­ence oth­er than the one they are hav­ing. Which, I sup­pose, is sort of an authen­tic thing to want, giv­en that the

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zen and being yourself

Cling Static

We get cling sta­t­ic when­ev­er we find our­selves grasp­ing onto some­thing (or push­ing it away–in which case we’re cling­ing on to not hav­ing it.) Today’s top­ic is addressed more ful­ly in my book, Half Asleep in the Bud­dha Hall. One of the ear­li­est teach­ings of the Bud­dha con­cerns the nature of life, and is often called the Four

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Tools for Relating  —  Having the Best Relationship Ever

Tools for Relat­ing  —  it’s not enough to have some knowl­edge about rela­tion­ships… you need tools and tech­niques to excel at relat­ing. Here’s anoth­er sam­ple chap­ter from my rela­tion­ships book, The. Best. Rela­tion­ship. Ever. Enjoy!  If you’re look­ing for a part­ner that “fits you,” you owe it to your­self to read my book. Find Your Per­fect Part­ner It’s available

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